What You Don't Regret
by HaveNoMercy
Summary: Post X3, Rogue and Wolverine deal with all they've lost...over drinks and conversation


**What You Don't Regret**

Rated R to NC-17 for sexual situations

Disclaimer: I own nothing, no infringement intended.

XxX

Rogue sipped the cold beer letting the bitter taste slide down her throat. The mansion was so much quieter now, everyone gone. She missed the way it used to be, before all of the grief. Now it choked with death, with sorrow, just when she felt she could finally breathe. Her bare fingers ran through her thick hair, combing through the tendrils. The pores of her body no longer ached for air the way they used to and she liked it. For years her skin hid, ashamed in the background. Now it took a bow on stage with the rest of her, though no one really noticed.

The school was still grieving.

Not to mention the voices in her head still screamed at her, keeping her up. Magneto and Logan were still loud and clear inside her.

Alone she sat watching bad t.v. trying to keep the thoughts of Bobby, Scott, Xavier and Jean off her mind. Storm was flooded with responsibility and she could hear Logan inside her head…in pain. He was getting closer to her, coming towards her. She wouldn't interrupt him. Ever since Jean and Xavier he…and she…they had been lost. Rogue thought Bobby was the answer. She thought her skin was the answer but it wasn't.

Thoughts colonized in her head as she felt Logan behind her, staggering out from the kitchen.

"You okay?" she asked, looking up behind her.

"Not really," he said, coming over to sit beside her on the couch. "I can't stay drunk for more than twenty minutes and it's not worth it to keep trying."

Rogue let out a small laugh, setting her beer down.

"And since when do you drink beer?" he asked.

"Are you jealous or is that a real question?" she mused.

"Both."

"Since I realized Bobby and I weren't gonna work."

"Well I could've told you that from day one."

She shot him a look as she reached for another sip.

"Well thank you for your insight."

She tapped him on the wrist.

"Here," she said, handing him her beer.

"Lifesaver," he sighed, chugging all of it.

She grabbed his arm. "Hey! That's my beer! Don't drink the whole thing!"

"I need it more than you!"

"I doubt it!"

He gave it back to her.

"All right, what's going on?" Logan swallowed.

She narrowed her eyes in deep concentration, looking at him. She sighed, raising her fingers to his face. He still had a slight buzz so he wasn't focusing. He hadn't noticed anything about anyone since Xavier, Scott, and Jean had died. She touched his face with the back of her hand.

"I took the cure, Logan."

He was still for an instant then moved his eyes to her hand, touching it.

"I've…I'm…"

"It's okay," she said, taking her hand back. "We've all been a little oblivious to everything around us with all the deaths. I miss them too," she said.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Logan, I've touched you three times tonight. I thought you'd notice."

"I guess the booze and Jean and Xavier…"

"I understand. I was so anxious to do something, to change. I leapt right into using my new found freedom that I just dove into my relationship with Bobby before realizing we didn't really have one."

"I take it you…" he didn't really finish the sentence.

Rogue looked straight at Logan.

"Yeah," she answered. "I did."

"That why you reversed your skin?"

"I knew you would ask that," she exclaimed.

"Well I told you not to do it for some boy and—"

"And, what, Logan would you have me do? I hear you in my head. I _**know**_ what you've been doing."

"I'm sorry," he said, calming down. "I just want for you to have better than this."

She crossed her legs on the table, her bare toes on the glass edge. She'd had her first pedicure yesterday with Storm and Kitty.

"John's gone, Scott…Jean…the Professor," Rogue said.

She looked away but he caught her face with his hand and turned it to his.

"But you, you got control…and you're still here."

His eyes were almost angry, determined to make her see something. Or was it him he was trying to convince? She could argue, say she didn't learn to control anything. She cheaply got an injection pushed deep inside her vein that stole it all away from her and now she breathes and feels what everyone else does. Yet as he touched her she felt like her skin had never lost its ability. She felt him flooding into her and she wanted it.

Bobby had left her feeling exposed. As if she had cracked herself open to the wrong person and it was too late to bundle herself up again. Moments of pleasure had allowed themselves to fall over her during the experience but she felt opened, too opened. All the pleasure quickly went away.

"It was like I dissolved," she told him. "By no fault of his," she quickly defended.

Logan could feel himself able to listen to her, able to hear her…maybe it was her. Maybe it was the booze, he didn't know.

"But?"

"But I wanted more. I wanted what you hear about. I guess I hoped for too much."

"Maybe he just couldn't deliver. But I understand, hoping for too much."

"This place lost a lot," she commented. "And you and I…" she shook her head. "You and I are stuck in this place again."

"You're not stuck anywhere," he assured her. "You can go anywhere, do anything. Don't let some kid like Bobby keep you somewhere you don't wanna be."

She didn't have the heart to tell him that she knew her "cure" wouldn't last much longer. Magneto would probably wage war again and everything would be back to the way it was. Except…this time there would be no Xavier to guide them through it with wisdom. So much was lost.

Logan looked over at the young woman he rescued. He'd held her in his arms and brought her back to life, sharing his mutation with her, giving her pieces of himself to survive. Sitting beside her now, he felt an intimacy with her he wasn't sure he could really admit. Her white strands glowed in the dim light and her red lips made him hungry. Her sadness was sweet, innocent and real to him. She was always genuine, unselfish and pure.

A tiny ache in him unfolded and he wondered if she could feel it inside her head. Reaching over to her he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. Her eyes closed as she reveled in the feeling.

"You probably feel more than any of us do," he whispered.

She turned her face to him. "I'll never take it for granted."

She took his hand in hers, perfectly manicured hands bringing it back to her face.

"When you brought me back to life I couldn't feel it. Now I can _**feel**_ it."

His hand swept up to her face, cupping it. She watched as his face came closer to hers, praying his mouth would touch hers and when it did she finally breathed. She closed her eyes and let him take over her. His lips tugged lightly, thumbs brushing over her cheeks. He kissed her gently at first, getting acquainted, then deepened and intensified. Her lips swelled slightly and she began to feel the first twinge of passion build up within her.

His lips broke contact with hers and her eyes opened with a flushed look. She remained calm looking into the eyes of a desperate man whose hands remained on her face.

"Tell me to stop," he said.

She thought about it for about two seconds.

"No," she whispered. "There's no reason to stop now. No reasons, no people, no obstacles. Kiss me Logan, and make love to me."

Rogue leaned in, letting her mouth descend over his and she felt the warm palms of his hands fall over her shoulders. They peeled her sleeves down, his urgent tongue licking the crease of her mouth seeking entry. Complying with him Rogue let her hands go to the bottom of her shirt where she forced it up her body, momentarily breaking the kiss to free her hot skin of the unwanted fabric. He moved her closer, sliding his hands down to her legs, turning her towards him, and gathering her so that each leg was around his waist. Lips met again mouths opening and crashing against each other.

She felt his fingers slip her warm socks off and then he leaned her back against the couch and raised himself up on his knees, gripping the ends of her jeans and peeling them off of her body slowly, leaving her in panties and a bra. Getting off her elbows she climbed to her knees also, but Logan was already in the undressing process. Rogue's flushed face smiled slightly at the sight of him rushing so that his skin would be in contact with hers. Frustrated with his shirt he threw it to the side and grabbed her, yanking her to him as she giggled slightly.

What amazed Rogue was that as she kissed Logan, she tasted no hint of cigars in his mouth. She knew it was a side effect of his mutation but it amazed her. His mouth was fresh, delicious and he gave her the passion that she chose to believe for tonight…was for her.

Sliding her hand down she opened the top button of his jeans, the Logan inside her loudly telling her everything he wanted. Sliding her fingers inside she gripped him, caressing underneath, stroking, kneading, pumping back and forth until a few drips of juices came forth and he flung her hand away.

"What?" she said innocently.

Both her wrists in his hands he pushed her back against the cushions of the couch, his body covering hers.

"You first."

Fearing she might get nervous, she only surprised him more.

"You just can't let anyone have the upper hand, can you?"

"I think 'upper' and 'hand' might've been the issue."

She smiled at him and began to feel his hand go up her inner thigh. Slipping fingers inside her panties he touched her. Parting her legs more he made her panties an afterthought and slid downwards, replacing his fingers with his tongue. Sweeping his tongue along the protective folds he licked at her taste as she bucked beneath him, surrendering to the passion she was letting him inflict on her. Pressing his finger on her clit he buried in face on her, lapping at her.

"Logan…like that," she moaned, for the first time grateful Xavier wasn't in the mansion able to hear anything she did.

Parting her legs more he increased the pressure with his mouth until he felt her moans and body respond, the first release crash through her.

Slowly showering kisses up her bare body, he felt her trembling in her recovery.

"As I said, you had to beat me," she breathed.

"As I recall you requested that I do that."

Adjusting himself over her, he looked at her beautiful eyes, seeing the stunning young woman she had become. He remembered the first time he'd really noticed her, giving her his tags. She'd come up behind him, wanting a goodbye and he _**saw**_ her. She was a blossoming person, not just someone he'd rescued a time or two. Then the two of them, they got lost a few times but he never forgot her. Just like she had absorbed him she would always be in his mind, in his soul, in his essence.

And now he could look at her without all the tragedy and keep her. He would make her his, even if just for tonight. Her eyes stared up at him with warmth, passion, excitement and an eagerness he hadn't met in a long time. Her hands and feet pulled at his jeans, pushing them away from his body, freeing the rest of him to fall against her.

She parted her legs slightly to open up to him and he fell against her entrance. Touching her face, he wanted to know her secrets as she knew his. He stared at her with a wanting and she knew. She let him.

"Logan…I want you," she told him softly.

Leaning down he pulled her lip into his mouth, licking it clean.

"I want you too," he said, gently pushing himself into her with little warning and firing up her insides.

Logan wrapped her hair around his hand and drew it back so he could drown her neck in warm kisses, setting a rhythm together as they began the intimate movements. He looked at her, those eyes full of desire, her body rising to meet his as the pace increased. Desperately trying to stay as quiet as possible he covered her body and continued with open-mouthed kisses that they used as the outlet for their cries. Movements quickened between them as the jolts of lightning coursed through her, his body hard and close. Lips and hands entwined he moaned her name into her mouth as the final thrust gave him his orgasm and he flooded himself inside her. The ripples hit her, pushing her over the edge as she pulled back from him, squeezing his hands, barely allowing two thick tears to roll very slowly down her cheeks as she collapsed with him in the heat they had created.

He glided his hands up her face catching them with his thumbs thinking he'd hurt her. Being gentle he kissed them away.

"Hey," he whispered.

"No," she smiled. "Nothing's wrong," she said, the tears completely gone.

She exhaled, relieved, as if he'd saved her life.

"You still have me in your head, don't you?" he asked.

She nodded. "Pretty strong."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. If I didn't, I'd be dead, more than once. Besides, you're not so bad. Magneto…now I'd trade him in for another dose of you."

"So you have like…my memories of everything?"

She smiled.

"Yes Logan. I've got all those memories of you doing things you'd probably wish I didn't. But it gave me a few ideas to try out with Bobby. Let's just say he had a better time than I did."

He raised himself up over her.

"Maybe the voices, the memories, you shouldn't make them about someone else."

"This wasn't," she said. "This felt like I could breathe. Like I could feel my own skin."

"We felt together," he said.

Rogue reached for the blanket on the chair beside her, pulling it towards them. She adjusted them so they could lie together. She covered them up with the blanket and laid on his bare chest, needing his scent.

"Can you wake us up at dawn, _**Wolverine**_?"

"You just sleep. I'll get you up before any of these rugrats see anything their eyes shouldn't."

But Logan fell asleep; his face in Rogue's unruly hair and Storm crept downstairs and saw the two of them curled up the couch with nothing on but a warm blanket over them. Sighing a little, she pulled the cover up over them, securing it over them. It wasn't that she didn't want this for them, but she had to admit she had a second or two where she thought of Logan for herself.

But **only** a second. She'd thought of several men for herself over the last few years. She'd been alone a long time. But Rogue deserved the best, and if Logan could be that for her after the loss of Jean, that was wonderful. What Rogue didn't deserve was a one-night-stand, and she hoped Logan wasn't doing that to her. But even Logan wouldn't be that cruel. He wouldn't harm someone he'd worked so hard to love that much in such a low way.

Storm walked away glad for them, thinking she'd make sure they were awake before classes started. But for now, give them peace and give them each other. Hell, everyone else around here had lost that.

XxX

Rogue woke up alone a few hours later. Dressing herself she folded the blankets and put them away. After fixing herself a glass of milk she saw the children walking to their classes. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought that sometimes she heard the Professor talking to her.

"Rogue?" she heard as she walked by a classroom.

She stopped and turned, seeing Storm sitting down with manila folders on her lap.

"Hi," Rogue said softly, still shy of her activities last night.

Storm smiled at her. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Rogue hadn't had a chance to take a shower and she didn't want anyone to know about what she had done with Logan.

"I fell asleep on the couch last night. Would you mind if I came back in a few minutes after I changed?"

Storm shook her head. "No of course not. I have a class in two hours, but it won't take long. I promise."

Rogue smiled back and went on her way to her room. Storm had always been so kind to her. Storm wanted the best for everyone and although only just getting used to trusting herself, she was still adjusting to trusting other people, but Storm was definitely someone she could believe in.

Rogue showered, combed her hair and applied her makeup. She sighed as she looked at her drawer of gloves. Shutting the drawer, she went back downstairs to see her former teacher.

Storm's eyes lit up when she saw Rogue.

"Hey," she grinned having set out a chair for Rogue to sit down on.

Rogue took the seat comfortably in front of her. Storm was quiet for an instant not knowing exactly how to begin the conversation then she reached out and touched Rogue's bare hand.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to you about your skin," she said.

Rogue looked down.

"You may not agree with it—" she began.

"No no," Storm said. "I was wrong to imply—"

"I think," Rogue interrupted. "I think for you it's easy to be a mutant."

"Honey, you are beautiful."

Rogue shook her head slightly as she looked at Storm. "Not like you."

"No, my opinion of you has always been that you are a beautiful young woman welcome here no matter what you chose to do with your mutation. We are lucky to have you."

"But when you said that. When you told me nothing was wrong with me; that was so simple, so easy for you to say. You're a beautiful woman with a mutation that enables you to do good things. _**My **_mutation was a horrible curse that murders and keeps me locked up. I understand that you were trying to help me, but it was like you were against me when you said that."

Storm looked down, slightly ashamed.

"Then I'm sorry. I didn't want some man to change you, to tell you that you were wrong. I didn't want anyone telling us that we were wrong. We are not wrong Rogue. No matter what mutation you have, you are a thriving young woman who is never alone."

Rogue nodded.

"I know. And that's why I let it go. I understood what you meant. But…" her eyes filled with tears again.

"What?" Storm asked. "What's wrong?"

Rogue pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger.

"I haven't told anyone this," she whispered. "I don't want to accept it."

"Take your time," Storm offered.

"The cure is wearing off," she said with watery eyes. "I'm going to lose my ability to touch people."

Storm sighed, reaching out with both hands to hold Rogue's. When she did, Rogue winced as if it hurt and Storm squeezed Rogue's hands hard.

"Sweetie," she whispered. "You haven't told Logan," she stated softly and Rogue shook her head. "We'll figure out something. I'll help you."

Storm caressed her face and Rogue relished in it.

"Thank you."

"You have beautiful skin. We're going to find a way to keep it touchable."

"Just so you know, if it's happening to me, it's also going to happen to Magneto. He'll be back able to fight again."

"Don't you worry about Magneto."

"I can fight though. I can be with you now."

Storm nodded.

"Then I'm glad to have you by my side."

~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~

At least for now! Hope you enjoyed!

Written: March, 2008


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